operation


being with him tears me open

slowly.

skin revealing blood

revealing muscle

and it hurts

which surprises me for some reason

because i was taught

love is kind.


and yet

maybe love is only kind to

those who know how.

not someone like me

who lacks experience 

failing at the emotion

when it seems to count most.


or perhaps, the pain is a kindness

in its own way

prodding my limbs

with skeletons of people

i am becoming. 


it is a warning

and a lesson

one i fear i am unwilling

to learn.


love is too vast

for me to embrace

with arms too small for my

own body. 

a vacancy in my chest where

a heart used to be

like the one in my bed. 


after all, lovers once had 

my name. 

A Girl with too Little to Give

and too Much to Take

Laid Bare Before a Man

Who Wishes to Love Her

while Not Knowing How to 

Let Him.


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